Had a headache. Had a bad case of wanting to crawl back into bed. Had a case of needing to make a certain amount of money per month if I want my children to have food.

I need to get that writing groove back. 200-300 words per day. That is all that it will take. The internet is such a distraction. And really I should be learning Torah. But writing, blogging, whatever this is, is better than surfing. Though I could be mountain biking, or skateboarding. I need some skateboard tape for my slippery clutch pedal.

ONE NITE ONLY *SLIPPERY CLUTCH*

Why do we do the things that we do. How and when did I get beyond caring about caring about what society thinks? And is that even true, or did I come to a new understanding, while I wasn't looking. I used to be very against the whole societal pressure thing, whether it was towards wearing desert boots and jeans or towards a certain type of hat. But now, I don't feel it so much, that is the way that it is, even amongst Jews, and even amongst our more modern brethren, they also dress in their srugies and sandals, it is a uniform, just as much as a lange rekel and a samet capelutch. Fighting it only makes a person stick out, and in a more rigidly defined society like this, sticking out can have dire consequences for child rearing.

Why oh why am I such a consumer of media? I don't even consume so much media. I am a consumer in general as well, but that doesn't bother me quite as much. What I want to be is a contributor to media. I wouldn't mind growing fruits and vegetables as well, maybe some animals too. But I do know that the feeling of being published is a real high. And I only know that from school newspapers and the letters to the editor column. But even that. High.

Consuming media sucks the brains out of my head.