What the hell happened to me!? Where did I go!? Why can't I get past myself!? I worked so hard to break out of an unseen ceiling that I felt was holding me down when I didn't know anything about anything, and now that I supposedly know better, I can't move, I can't improvise, I can't live life. I second guess every move I can't make a decision, not that I was ever any good at that. I need to start writing, that is all, no more excuses, no more tomorrow, no more rusty, just start, that's all.

Pesaj, apparently is the holiday in which we celebrate the freedom from slavery, but if I do not also celebrate that fact that the Jewish people became the property of Hashem at the same time, then why should a care one iota about some dusty old anscestors who were slaves in Egypt thousands of years ago, live in the now, get over it already. But if we consider that we now belong to Hashem, who happened to free us from slavery, see, one should not forget the hand that freed us, then it begs the question further, what obligations do we continue to have as a people and as individuals to that same, never changing, Hashem.

Wired magazine ran an article  http://www.wired.com/medtech/health/magazine/17-04/ff_brainatlas?currentPage=1  about the brain mapping project where they state a couple of times how blown away they are about the complexity of the project, the complexity of the brain, and they seem to chalk all that complexity up to evolution. Now, to say that such a complex organ of self awareness established itself through millenia of single cell development, alterations, mutations might be ok. It's funny, we, ourselves, are too small to understand our own brains. Or, to suggest that such a complex organ was created by an infinite being, for whom the complexity of the brain is simplicity, certainly has an attraction. And, if we are too small to understand this very complex creation of The Creator, how much more so are we too small to understand The Creater Himself in all of His Infinite Glory.

The scientists are very clear that they keep uncovering layer after later of complexity and that they understand that they themsleves will not be able to understand all of the data that they produce, and that they hope that in the future, someone will be able to put it all together. They also admit that  historically, scientists have worked in the dark untill someone comes along in later generations to explain what was seen earlier. What they don't quite admit is that until someone comes along, explained or not, the current science is accepted as gospel, even though this is subject to change in a couple of years.

Now that is what I like about Judaism, I mean, whether we are hear for a few million years, or, really just recorded history of 5000 years, doesn't matter too much, I personally am here about 70 or 80 years, I have an unchanging tradition from my forefathers and am passing that down to my children. I have grasped the infinite. The Jews are the only stable body in history. Even the Chinese, who have several billion on the Jews, have absolutely no issue with integration. Put a Chinaman in New York and in one generation you will have another New Yorker, that is all. But the Jew remains separate, you can't hold on to the infinite and grasp the temporal at the same time.